The Tortoise and The Bear!

Follow us on our mostly frustrating adventures

If you have no soul, go to Seoul! February 7, 2012

First off, let me start this with saying, never ever go to Seoul. The owner is a complete jerk and the food is not worth the price.

How exciting. As of a few minutes ago, I can say that I have had the worst restaurant experience EVER. Here in the little town of Little Rock, Arkansas! Jeremy and I decided to go to Seoul, for the second time. Seoul is a Korean restaurant found at 5923 Kavanaugh Boulevard. The first time I had a similar awful food experience, however I just sucked it up and attempted to choke down the food I was served. But let’s not talk about that, lets talk about our most recent visit!

In the beginning, our visit to Seoul was pleasant. The atmosphere of the restaurant is pleasant and our waitress was very nice. I ordered a black tea and water, Jeremy got a diet coke (because that is all he drinks). For teabag tea, my hot black tea was actually really good. Jeremy said his diet coke was “average”.

Then we ordered! Jeremy got a beef bulgogi and I got a tofu bibimbap, egg rolls, avocado roll, asparagus roll and a house salad (we split much of this). (Jeremy: I went to the bathroom, because that’s what I do. It was a single-serve bathroom, but for some reason had two chairs next to the inconvenient toilet paper roll. I guess that was an invitation to use the chairs instead of the toilet, but unfortunately I was only in there to wash my hands. Speaking of which, there was NO HOT WATER in the bathroom, a major restaurant pet peeve of mine.)

First out was the salad, which was okay. The greens themselves were amazing looking, but the dressing is that kind of ginger dressing that I hate so much. You know, the kind that just seems like it is ginger pulp? I much prefer the ginger dressing found at Igibon, but I won’t hold that against Seoul. (Jeremy: creamy dressing FTW, of course)

Then, came the egg rolls! The egg rolls were amazing (I think, Jeremy had to add soy to his). The dipping sauce was spicy, acidic and had a really nice bite to it, these are all things I love. The egg rolls were satisfyingly crunchy and the insides were tasty and for me, very tasty. I ended up drinking some of the sauce and it was. so. good. Good job Seoul!

Then, our sushi came! The sushi was beautiful and overall very good. The avocado roll didn’t have crunchy avocado, which sometimes happens and it makes me want to vomit. This avocado was deliciously ripe and their was just enough cucumber to help make it not too mushy feeling in your mouth. The asparagus roll had a delicious crunchy outside, but the inside was just a little too mushy for me. It wasn’t bad, necessarily, but I did think it could have used about a minute less cooking time. Overall, great though!

But then… it all went terribly downhill. Our main dishes came out and instantly I could tell that I was about to experience the same mushy, bland, awful bibimbap that I had had last time. Please, please be wrong I said to myself. Please, maybe a swarm of bugs will fly over the food, die instantly and fall into the bowl, this giving SOME SORT OF TASTE to the entire trainwreck of a bowl of food.

But, that didn’t happen.

Let me explain to you what you are looking at. On the bottom, you have a layer of plain white rice. To the side, you have plain lettuce. You also have cooked, mushy plain zucchini, some sort of very, very lightly sauced noodles and then possibly sprouts as well. On top of all of this, is plain silken tofu. LET ME SAY THAT AGAIN. ON THE TOP OF ALL OF THIS MUSHY, BLAND DEAD PUPPY OF A DISASTER MESS, IS UNSEASONED, UNCOOKED SILKEN TOFU. WHAT. WHAT WHAT WHAT!

But yes, I did try it. I tried exactly one bite of tofu and wanted to die, Jeremy had a similar experience. I verified that the zucchini and rice were also unseasoned and flavorless. We also tried the side of sauce that came with this disaster, it was gritty and tasted like it was just chili powder mixed together with water to make a paste. Actually, Jeremy pointed out it tasted just like the red pepper powder you use to make kimchi. Maybe it was? It also came with a side of kimchi, which I did not eat due to the fish paste used to make it. (Jeremy: we actually had to press the waitress for this information. She assured us it was just cabbage. “No fish?” “No fish.” “No dried shrimp?” “No dried shrimp.” “No fish sauce?” “Oh, well yes it’s made with fish sauce.”)

(Jeremy: Mine was actually fine, but not amazing. On this plate is the salad, which was the same as Penelope’s; kimchi that wasn’t terribly spicy or tart; beef that was very tender, probably the best thing on the plate; two different fried meat-filled doughs that seemed dry but edible; edamame that were very crunchy but also tasty; and some nondescript fried rice, which had some sesame seeds on top that were a nice touch.)

So this time, I was not going to let them trick me into buying this disaster of a meal. I took 2 bites and stopped eating until the waitress came back. I told her I was not happy with this and it was too bland. She told me I should put the sauce on it. No, I will not do that. A) the sauce was AWFUL, B) you really think it is okay to serve flavorless food and make the customer flavor it themselves? What exactly is the chef doing then? Cooking rice, chopping up lettuce and opening a pack of tofu?

She recommended the beef bibimbap and I let her know I don’t do meat. She understood and took the dish away. I finished my salad (which I was sad I had to do) and Jeremy finished his beef bulgogi and I told him I was pretty sure my bibimbap would be on my ticket and it would be awkward.

Well, it was on my ticket. I put my card in with the ticket and Jeremy paid with cash. When the waitress came and took my card, I told her that she made a mistake and my bibimpap got put on my ticket. At this point my card was still with my ticket, because I thought she would fix it. But no, she told me the owner said that I needed to pay for it. When she said that, I was certain to take back my card before she could run it and let her know I wanted to talk to the manager or owner.

The owner came to our table and wanted to know what was wrong. I told him that the food was bland and I was not happy with it, so I sent it back. I told him I did not expect to pay for it. He said that I ordered it, so I had to pay. He also explained to me that I just needed to put the sauce on it. WHAT IS UP WITH THESE PEOPLE AND THIS FUCKING SAUCE?! IT WASN’T A SAUCE MADE OUT OF ANGEL TEARS, IT COULD FIX NOTHING. We went back and forth a bit and eventually he made it very clear he would not take the bibimbap off my ticket. I let him know that if this was the case, I would never come back and I would tell my friends to never come back, either. He assured me that he didn’t want me back, or any of my friends.

I put a 5$ on the table, let him know that was for the tip and I would not be paying. Jeremy and I walked out the door.

We got to our car and it turns out the owner had followed us to the car. He stood behind the car and said “So you are not going to pay?”, I told him I would pay for everything except for the bibimbap, which was awful. We went back and forth for a bit more and eventually he said he would take it off my ticket. I walked with him back to the store (the whole way, him telling me how much he never wanted me to come back and hopes none of my friends do, either). I ended up paying for everything but the bibimbap, which is EXACTLY what should have happened from the very beginning.

I ask you, my dear reader. What would you expect? If you didn’t eat your food because it was disgusting, could you imagine ANY situation where it would be okay for the owner to insist you to pay for it? I can’t picture a single situation where that would be okay.

So there you have it. Never, ever go to Seoul. Unless it is to tell the owner that you are my friend and you know that you are not wanted there.



Seoul on Urbanspoon


Curry In a Hurry! January 6, 2012

Jeremy and I have been talking about this FOREVER (and I have the photos in my phone to prove it), but I am about to do our first restaurant review!

Curry In a Hurry is a somewhat new adorable little Indian restaurant that has opened up at 1800 Pike Ave, NLR. At first sight I was really excited, because it looks like to be a building re-purposed for a restaurant. As we all know, I love places like this, especially if they used to be gas stations. This place does not look like an old gas station, but we can’t hold that against them.

As a side note, this place is right by the Timex outlet store. I bet you didn’t know we had one of those, did you? It’s a wonderland of tacky watches, go have a look, will ya?

I am not going to pretend that I was not comparing this place to Star of India the whole time. In fact, you will see that in this very review, I directly compare it to SoI… which is easily the best in the area.

I hope you can click this to make it bigger

Curry In a Hurry has 2 tables, one out in the open and one in a tiny little room behind a curtain. We sat in the curtained room and it was like being in a little fort, a big plus! After giggling quite a bit about where we were sitting, Jeremy ordered a mango lassie and I got a water.

Jeremy enjoying the fort.

My water was just perfect! It had that amazing little ice that I love so much. Jeremy’s mango lassie didn’t have any ice, which made me want to die looking at. I don’t know why, but drinks without ice disgust me. I think it’s from all my Waffle House visits where I learned that ice helps hide things floating in your drink, so you ALWAYS get ice. ALWAYS. Anyway, Jeremy seemed to be pleased with his beverage (Jeremy is known to be an easy please, though).

After our drinks we sat around and chatted a bit and an order of colored, fried-puffed-rice-wheels appeared. They were amazing, but I certainly could have done without the color.

Yes, some are blue.

We ordered at some point. I don’t remember when, it might have been before the puffed-rice-wheels. I got an order of vegetable somosas and the aloo gobi. Jeremy got the moong vada and vegetable curry.

Our pre-meal snack that starts with an A and that I could never even attempt to spell came!


Moong vada

Here is where it gets fun! These two things completely fucking blew Star of India out of the water. The samosas were coated in this cumin, salt and something zesty powder that I was sure to lick off the plate. The wrapper has a very satisfying crunch and the filling actually had flavor (You hear that SoI? FLAVOR INSIDE. That’s where the flavor goes.). The moong vada had the same powder on it and was also satisfyingly crunchy. After I ate a few, I realized that these are essentially hush puppy batter with some veggies inside of it, which is totally fine with me. Please get these. The dipping sauce was also good (probably came from a bottle) and was sweeter than regular BBQ sauce.

So far, all has been well! Maybe this place will be a winner!

Main meal (word starts with an e, but I won’t try to spell it)

Garlic naan

Our food came! First, lets discuss the garlic naan. I have never had garlic naan that actually had much of a garlic flavor to it (usually its just like, a garlic smell.), but this naan was amazingly garlicky. It was slightly doughie, which I enjoy, but I know Jeremy likes things to be crunchy, so I am not sure how he feels. The garlic naan stomped Star of India’s by far.

But then we ate the food. I mean, it wasn’t… bad, really. But maybe to understand my dissappointment, you should understand my love for Star of India.

Star of India is the kind of food where if my to-go box flew out the window on the freeway, I would stop the car, get out in moving traffic and lick the food off the pavement. Death would be okay, because my last meal would have been Star of India. I would do a whole, whole lot of bad things for a card that let me eat at Star of India for free for a year.

Anyway, Curry In a Hurry’s main meal could not touch Star of India, at all. I wanted it to have a lot more sauce and more… Indian flavor. I mean, CIaH was okay, but certainly something that I would not get out in moving traffic for. In fact, if I got as far as my car and left my to-go box, it probably would not be worth my energy to go back in and get it. Maybe their meaty things are better. Maybe the meaty things have lots of amazing Indian juices to soak the rice and make the experience memorable. But, it did not.

So let’s recap. Curry In a Hurry is pretty good. Actually, everything but the main meal was amazing. I would recommend getting pre-meal snacks at Curry In a Hurry and then driving over to Star of India for the main meal. It should only take you about 15 minutes to make the trip, but you can decide.

I assume we will go back to Curry In a Hurry. We need to take The Sarita’s, they would like it a lot I think. Especially the funny room.


Summer plans? March 2, 2011

Do you live somewhere along this route?

Let me know! This is the trip I am proposing for myself this summer.

I mean, I still have no idea what I am doing this summer and as usual I am freaking out about that. But in theory, I want to make this trip.

What are YOU doing this summer? Please tell me. Inspire me.


Our insane neighbors, Pt. 2 February 4, 2011

Look down two posts and read about our insane downstairs neighbors.

The DAY after she called us faggots, our pipes froze and flooded their house. If I believed in karma, I might blame this on that…

I confronted our neighbor about calling us faggots and she OF CORSE denied it. I mean, really, I don’t care if you call me a faggot. Well, that is kind of a lie, BUT AT LEAST BE ABLE TO CALL ME A FAGGOT TO MY FACE. Don’t do it when I am playing DDR, or walking down the street, or do it by yelling at my house. Stop me, look me in the face and call me a fag. What, are you worried that I am going to hit you? Please? Worst thing I will do is cut myself and spray you with my filthy faggot blood.

We talked to our landlords about the dogs, our new roomate and our neighbors and they are so fucking amazing. They thought it would be a good idea to print off Tom of Finland posters and hang them on our porch. Go ahead and google Tom of Finland, I will wait here for you to return.




Would that not be amazing? Anyway, long story short, don’t fuck with us ever and our landlords are absolultly amazing.

It’s snowing right now, I wish I was dead. This is all.


Our Neighbor! January 25, 2011

Recently, we have had a couple nice days of weather, which has been amazing. But the down side is, that it has brought our neighbor back out, which makes it REALLY hard to pretend that he died an awful, horrible and painful death. When it is cold he never comes out of his shanty and we could only sometimes hear him coughing, which made it easy to pretend he was dying (dieing?). But no, we will have to deal with him another spring/summer/fall cycle.

If you are new to our lives, than maybe you don’t know anything about our neighbor!

It would take too long to tell you all of the stories that I have, but here is a recap.

We live next to an insane, Vietnam Vet, ex Hells Angel old as shit man who likes to hang stuffed animals from his back porch via nooses. He built a “garden” in his back yard, which consists literally of nothing but rocks. He claims that this summer, he will grow water melons. We have talked about just buying water melons from the store and just putting them in his garden, which might be hilarious. He can be frequently be found watering his patch of gravel, the road and sometimes sprays some water at a tree. He once accused me of stealing 2 liters of soda from him and being a pedophile. He also thinks that Jeremy and I are going to hell, which is certianly true. He has a cat, which is sometimes lets out of his shanty, but ONLY ON A LEASH. Also, the leash has a, can you guess? A noose tied on the end of it (he really, really loves nooses). He claims to love his cat, but I have seen him spray it with the hose many times and pick the cat up by it’s collar only and throw it in the house.

He is a general bad person, this is all you need to know.


Stomach hurts! January 17, 2011

Everyone who lives at our house, or who had visited our house, got some stomach bug, one after the other, last week. I got off pretty easy and was only vomiting for one night, but now I have this bucket of vomit in the attic and I don’t know what to do with it. The longer I leave it, the more disgusting it seems that I have a bucket of vomit in my room.

I really wish I had dealt with it, right after I was done vomiting, it seemed much less awful then. I recently smelled the bucket of vomit and it was surprisingly odor free, which is good, but makes no sense to me. I guess kind of in the same way that sharps containers should smell disgusting, but don’t actually. I am tempted to take a picture of the bucket of vomit, but part of me thinks that people would find that disgusting.


Meet the dogs!

Jeremy and I have two dogs in our life now! They are so much fun!

This is Kortez, who is a greyhound, who is GIANT. He can eat stuff from off our counters, without actually jumping up at all. It’s amazing. It’s hard to pet him though, because it is impossible to ever read any of his emotions.

One thing I have actually learned though, is that greyhound are actually really, really fast. Its fun to watch him run around with Fritz.

This is Fritz! He has farts that can peel paint off walls and is constantly excited about everything. Or at least, appears to be excited. His hair is really stiff, or something, so it makes me itch where ever it touches me. But totally worth it.

Both of the dogs LOVE to cuddle, which is amazing. Whenever I am home alone and just hanging out with them, wherever I walk in the house Fritz is always in front of me and Kortez is always behind.

This is all. I just wanted you to meet them so you A) would want to come over to our house to meet them B) so you knew who I was talking about when I speak of the dogs, constantly.