The Tortoise and The Bear!

Follow us on our mostly frustrating adventures

Fuck y’all, I’m gonna become famous October 2, 2011

Filed under: Boring Topic,Jeremy Post — Jeremy! @ 12:48 am
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I’ve finally figured it out, I just don’t know why it hasn’t worked. All I need to do is turn this into a cooking blog, either adopt or create some bullshit, completely disingenuous theory about nutrition or cooking methods, then post about it daily until you either die of boredom or want to burn my house down with me in it.


If you can’t tell, I’m trying to wade through a backlog of a cooking blog that has the occasional interesting recipe/article about every tenth one, and the rest are just terrible. Fetid, even. The guy is such a tool, he’s even written two books about his toolery! One of them is $36.95, or  you can get the e-book for TWENTY-SIX FUCKING DOLLARS AND 95 CENTS! I am certain that if I wrote a cookbook, I could sell at least a dozen copies at $15-20 each. Who wants to pre-order?


Country music, and possibly music in general June 27, 2011

As anyone who has had even brief contact with me knows, I tend to go through music phases, and the most recent one has been country music. I think I just have a weakness for vocal harmony and bridges. And just to clarify, country music from before the mid/late 80’s or so is useless to me. I can’t appreciate the classics. I’m sorry, Loretta and Dolly, but most of your music is boring.

Anyway, it seems strange that I enjoy it so much. There’s almost nothing I identify with in them – I don’t have a wife or significant other to cheat on (and given my stance on monogamy…), have never owned a truck, don’t hunt or fish, I live in as close to an urban setting as one can manage in Arkansas, the concept of getting together and drinking in a field, possibly with a bonfire is foreign to me, and I find the religious views and conservatism espoused by country music absolutely ridiculous.

I think has to do with the universal appeal of optimism; it seems that regardless how depressing the lyrics, it usually ends on either a positive note, or at the very least, hopefulness. And the ones that are completely unrelateable for me, like having a tailgate party around a bonfire outside of town somewhere are at least fun. I can get into fun music.

Oh. speaking of fun music, [obligatory (clap!) Kidz Pop reference here].