I’ve finally figured it out, I just don’t know why it hasn’t worked. All I need to do is turn this into a cooking blog, either adopt or create some bullshit, completely disingenuous theory about nutrition or cooking methods, then post about it daily until you either die of boredom or want to burn my house down with me in it.
If you can’t tell, I’m trying to wade through a backlog of a cooking blog that has the occasional interesting recipe/article about every tenth one, and the rest are just terrible. Fetid, even. The guy is such a tool, he’s even written two books about his toolery! One of them is $36.95, or you can get the e-book for TWENTY-SIX FUCKING DOLLARS AND 95 CENTS! I am certain that if I wrote a cookbook, I could sell at least a dozen copies at $15-20 each. Who wants to pre-order?