The Tortoise and The Bear!

Follow us on our mostly frustrating adventures

Our Neighbor! January 25, 2011

Recently, we have had a couple nice days of weather, which has been amazing. But the down side is, that it has brought our neighbor back out, which makes it REALLY hard to pretend that he died an awful, horrible and painful death. When it is cold he never comes out of his shanty and we could only sometimes hear him coughing, which made it easy to pretend he was dying (dieing?). But no, we will have to deal with him another spring/summer/fall cycle.

If you are new to our lives, than maybe you don’t know anything about our neighbor!

It would take too long to tell you all of the stories that I have, but here is a recap.

We live next to an insane, Vietnam Vet, ex Hells Angel old as shit man who likes to hang stuffed animals from his back porch via nooses. He built a “garden” in his back yard, which consists literally of nothing but rocks. He claims that this summer, he will grow water melons. We have talked about just buying water melons from the store and just putting them in his garden, which might be hilarious. He can be frequently be found watering his patch of gravel, the road and sometimes sprays some water at a tree. He once accused me of stealing 2 liters of soda from him and being a pedophile. He also thinks that Jeremy and I are going to hell, which is certianly true. He has a cat, which is sometimes lets out of his shanty, but ONLY ON A LEASH. Also, the leash has a, can you guess? A noose tied on the end of it (he really, really loves nooses). He claims to love his cat, but I have seen him spray it with the hose many times and pick the cat up by it’s collar only and throw it in the house.

He is a general bad person, this is all you need to know.


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